How a Baptist Church Was the Catalyst to Becoming Catholic

Growing up in an Evangelical Christian home, liturgy was not something I was familiar with, as such, when I first experienced it, I was immediately drawn by its beauty, reverence, and transcendence.  My experience in church for my first 30 years in life centered around myself.  What was I getting out of church? What programs do they offer? How are the people there, is the community active?  Is the pastor an entertaining and powerful speaker?  Is the music something I enjoy and does it give me an emotional experience?  All of these questions were focused on myself, and in my tradition at the time it was ok to feel that way.  These things in my list of questions distinguished churches from each other in the evangelical tradition more than anything, and so shopping for the right one for me was expected.  Things would suddenly change for me and it was in experiencing liturgy, and interestingly enough, the catalyst for this conversion of spirit was not initially the Catholic Church.

            Throughout my life I attended mega churches.  They had all the bells and whistles and answered very satisfactorily the questions about what did I want in a church.  Finally, though I began to see some theological challenges in the church I attended and began to shop for a new church.  My family and I decided to try a small church in a downtown area; it was a Baptist church and we began to attend there regularly.  The church had good music, and nice people, and excellent teaching so it satisfied those checks on my checklist.  At the same time though, it had something new, something I never considered for my checklist; liturgical actions.  Every Sunday they had communion including a time of kneeling and reflecting before a large cross in the corner.  This was simply not a part of my mega church, which did communion quarterly.  This new church also recited the Apostles Creed every Sunday and stood when the Word was read.   These actions left an impression on me and left me open for consideration of a completely different paradigm in church.  I found myself unable to attend that church any longer and instead was sitting at a new mega church coasting along in the back sipping my latte from the coffee bar in the stadium seating theater watching a worship concert and hearing a powerful sermon.  After a few months of that, it began to feel empty to me.  Was this really church?  Is this what it is all about?  I can do this from home watching a live stream of the event, and indeed many do,  so why am I here.  I remember confiding in my father that I felt like the church was really missing something by abandoning the hymns and liturgical practices of the past, but I did not really know what the answer was to a longing that had been placed in my heart, having been touched by the power of a simple liturgical celebration.

            Several months later, I was in a philosophy of religion class at the local community college, and had to visit an Eastern religion and a Western religion outside my tradition. Being a Protestant I could go to a Catholic, Orthodox, Jewish, or Islamic service and report back to satisfy my assignment and so I went to Sunday mass one day at the local parish.  The parish church is a traditional cathedral style church with lots of beautiful stain glass.  This alone set it apart from the converted warehouses that my evangelical churches were meeting in.   Upon entering, the importance of the place was palpable.  I really had no experience at all with the Catholic Church other than to think people should leave it, and it was from this skewed worldview that I entered, and yet was immediately touched by the atmosphere created.  I immediately noticed the prayerful quiet as the church slowly filled.  Everyone bowed or genuflected as they entered the pews, I did not know why at the time, but the humility of it all impacted me. 

            The mass begin with the entrance hymn and the procession down the center. I found the hymns refreshing coming off a burnout from a worship band that would rival any pop culture band in both theatrics and sound quality.  I remember following along in the worship aid as I knew nothing about the mass.  Reading the penitential act with the congregation immediately brought tears to my eyes.  I could not believe that this entire congregation was asking God for forgiveness together and admitting their inadequacies, such a concept was a purely private matter in my evangelical tradition and I long had carried burdens that I asked God for forgiveness but was uncertain of his reply.  I remember the readings and homily being nothing significant, perhaps in another setting I would have found them boring, but in this setting, it was clear that more was going on, that the teaching from the readings and homily were supplementing something far grander.  I did my best to follow along and was moved to kneel before God during a church service and reflect on his transforming grace in my life.  I knew absolutely nothing of the Eucharist and the real presence, the sacrifice of the mass, or the grace of the sacraments, and yet the beauty and humility of this liturgy conveyed a powerful message to me. While I received much by my participation, the great gift I received was not geared toward me.  It was geared toward God and my participation in it left me moved by His grace.

            I didn’t fully understand at the time, but I left that church a Catholic in my heart and a “former” evangelical protestant.  I was unable to articulate any of it or understand it, but every hint I had of something wrong with the churches I had been a part of was made readily apparent in the liturgy and my life would not be the same. I would later be reading Thomas Merton’s Seven Storey Mountain, and I believe he captured my feeling beautifully in his description of his first experience in church saying, “One came out of the church with a kind of comfortable and satisfied feeling that something had been done that needed to be done… It is a law of man's nature, written into his very essence, and just as much a part of him as the desire to build houses and cultivate the land and marry and have children and read books and sing songs, that he should want to stand together with other men in order to acknowledge their common dependence on God, their Father and Creator. In fact, this desire is much more fundamental than any purely physical necessity" (Merton, 13)  The desire was very fundamental for me and I found myself reading everything I could on the Catholic Church and trying to understand what I had experienced in the liturgy.  I found myself slipping into the back row of weekday masses to see it all again, and would attend mass on Sundays whenever I could.   Within a year I was in RCIA, and a year and a half later at Easter Vigil 2014 I was brought into the Church and Confirmed and had my first Eucharist.

            My time as a Catholic has been one of immense joy.  I see Christ in the liturgy, in the Eucharist, and in the body of Christ, the church.  This is made manifest in the hugs and smiles from the parishioners I attend mass with, in the Church throughout the world and its authority it exercises.  This authority I find like the comforting hug of a parent who cares for his child and not like a rod of tyranny as it is often described by those who do not understand.  After floating adrift seeking what could not be found outside the bounds of the Church, it is with great relief, and immense joy that I proudly proclaim to be a Catholic.  This joy may not have ever been realized if my heart hadn’t been opened by the beauty found in the simple liturgy of a small Baptist church.

Trading Truth for the Guise of Freedom- Abortion, Assisted Suicide and our Cultural Wanderings

Who owns my Life?  What a profound question.  Do we own our own life?  Ownership would infer some sort of purchase and in the case of life, I suppose that would mean creation of our life.  If we were not a part of that, then do we truly own our life, was it deeded to us by someone, perhaps our parents?  How do we begin to answer this?

Every child knows the familiar phrase, “always let your conscience be your guide.”  It is engrained in us from a very early age in movies, fairy tales, and colloquialism.   How often do we come to think about what this phrase truly means?   It is imperative that one understand what our conscience is, how we should respond to our conscience, and ultimately be able to articulate, why we should follow our consciences.   In our relativistic culture today, while the colloquial phrase is still popular, the practical reality is that we have all but lost hold of what the conscience is and the grounding necessary to properly follow it. 

 

Mark Lowery in his book, Living the Good Life, defines consciousness as “the medium between objective truth and our individual lives” (19).   This is a simple definition that I think most would agree with, and yet so many operate so far away from objective truth not even understanding what the phrase means.  There are things that you just do not do and our consciences helps to guide us away from these things.   It will go without saying that one should not murder children playing in the park.   There is no debate on such atrocious actions amongst the sane.   This is an objective truth inscribed on our very being by God himself.   Along with this clearly obvious truth, there are many other objective truths that are equally important, but increasingly unclear in our culture.   An example related to our first scenario may be abortion.   Abortion clearly is killing a child that may as well be playing on a playground if he/she was developed enough to do so.   Sadly, our cultural redefinitions have created this seemingly clear issue of conscience into a dilemma of choice for many.   This is a result of a culture of relativism that causes us to have as a society, an increasingly false, yet good conscience.   In other words after enough misinformation is given to us it weakens our clear understanding of the objective truth, replacing it with a false narrative that we follow, often with the best of intentions.  This false narrative is ultimately rooted in a world view that replaces the individual with God and objective truths with relative truths.

Pope Pius XII states, “The conscience is as it were the most secret and intimate cell man has. It is there that he takes refuge with spiritual faculties…..alone with God”.  A proper understanding of our conscience is more than just our internalized feelings.  It must be viewed as its reality, which is a conversation with God brought about by the truths of the natural law that he has provided for us. Removing God from the process of forming our consciences is all too common today. Objective truth is only effective in our lives if it includes the source of that truth which is God.  Increasingly, the authority and objective truth of God is replaced by the autonomy of the self.  This has been the case since the first man ate of the fruit in the garden, and it will continue to plague humanity until the restoration of the world in the future eschaton.  Relativism, has weakened our conscience by redirecting mankind inward on himself instead of being ordered with his God.  

Moral relativism has thrived under the guise of personal freedom.   When one focuses solely on himself he has the appearance of freedom, but as anyone who has been overindulgent in earthly pleasures can tell you, freedom is not found in purely seeking out personal pleasures and supposed freedoms.   Such action indeed creates despair and depression.   True freedom is found when our consciences are properly ordered to the goodness of God and his objective truth for our lives.  Discovering such communion with truth allows us to have true freedom despite the differentiation in our lives from what a relativistic society may deem true and happy.   It is interesting that as I read and develop ideas on this question and issue, my own state of California is in the lurch regarding a physician assisted suicide bill.   Bills such as this are the fruit of a culture that has lost its grasp on truth and sacrificed truth on the altar of selfish desire.  Bishop Robert Barron wrote recently in discussion on this issue stating, “young people have been immersed in the corrosive acids of relativism, scientism, and materialism. Though they have benefitted from every advantage that money can afford, they have been largely denied what the human heart most longs for: contact with the transcendent, with the good, true, and beautiful in their properly unconditioned form…..today especially, freedom itself has emerged as the ultimate good, as the object of worship. And what this looks like on the ground is that our lives come to belong utterly to us, that we become great projects of self-creation and self-determination”.   Only through a return to the understanding that our lives do not actually belong to us, but to God, will we be able to satisfy the longings of our hearts and form a society that truly offers justice and freedom to all. 

So do we own our own life?  Is it something for us to do with as we please when we please? Let us all truly reflect on that. 

Return to the Garden- How every choice matters

Our modern world is plagued with a moral crisis that is unraveling our societal stability little by little, day by day.  This problem is not unique to the modern world, it is a problem which mankind has been dealing with since Adam and Eve fell from grace in the garden.  The fundamental changing of our relationship with God and creation set about a turn of events that we struggle with to this day. In the garden, Adam and Eve turned inward on themselves, embracing a selfishness and pride that caused a rift not just between themselves and God, but within themselves.  In analyzing our moral state, it becomes clear that a disconnect within ourselves is at the root of our culture of death and the means of repairing this culture is by understanding our corporeal and immaterial make up and embracing a path of return toward the good in which we were created. 

“Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis, 1:26 RSV).  From the moment of creation man was imprinted with an image of the Triune God.  Unlike the rest of creation, mankind was neither purely corporeal, nor purely immaterial.   Instead mankind was made to inhabit this physical world in a unique way; carrying the image of God.  This corporeal and spiritual joining is a unique part of creation found only in man.  It is what makes us who we are, and unfortunately a rupture in the balance of our relationship between rational will and our physical emotions is what has led to both our fracture with God and with each other.   This fracture is the fruit of a prideful view of self.  As Adam and Eve chose their own knowledge and feelings over God’s command, so to lies the base for all our sins.   

Through the fall, the relationship between man and women was changed forever.  This fracture ripples through all human relationships since that time. “An adversarial stance develops between the two, which frequently plays out as domination on the part of the man and manipulation on the part of the woman.  Man and woman cannot be human without each other, yet each is tempted to selfishly strive for self promotion and self protection to the detriment of the other” (Healy, 36).  When man and woman acknowledge their selfish weakness and strive to move toward charity toward each other; placing each others needs above their own, a move toward holiness occurs. Each small move in this direction moves mankind into the direction of redemption God desires for us. 

God has revealed the truths in a Trinitarian way to us.  He has written them on our hearts.  He has revealed them through the Word, and it is demonstrated through the love that flows in charity when one follows the Word and God’s moral truth that is written on our hearts.    The Theology of the Body returns us to a right ordering of things.  It allows us to look outward at our spouse instead of inward on ourselves.    When this perspective switches it becomes a catalyst for change in the very fabric of society; the family.   As the family changes, so too does the culture. It is important for the world to be equipped with a real understanding of what it means to love sacrificially and to give oneself for another.  In embracing this truth we can rescue the culture from its descent into despair, death and selfish ambition.  

Today, we see tragedy around us.  A disregard for human life, for the poor, the vulnerable, and the marginalized.  We see a loathing of the goodness of God and a mockery of religion.  At the same time we see a hunger for more, a culture that is searching for the good, but is looking in the wrong places.  Too often our culture is looking for its fulfillment in the individual.  This gravitates toward an over embellishment of the physical.  We seek pleasure and comfort but our desires continue unappeased.   The divorce between our spiritual lives and our corporeal lives leaves a gaping hole that can only be filled once we allow both to flourish in harmony together.  Dismissal of the spiritual as unnecessary is the ultimate root of our suffering. We are not meant to be purely physical creatures, nor purely rational creatures. “In this perspective, ‘man is neither his body nor his soul,’ but the composite that results from the union of soul and body. And ‘since it is a matter of an animated body, we must not speak either of priority or posteriority; there is absolute simultaneity, since indeed the animated body coincides with the incarnate spirit.’The soul is doubtless the more noble part, by virtue of its spiritual nature created by God. But it is not a complete substance existing by itself” (Torell, 256).  Indeed, it is a right order to the disconnect in our culture between body and soul that can bring about lasting and flourishing change in the human condition. Through an acknowledgment of this disconnect, and further discovery of a pathway to the good in a pursuit of holiness, man can find his way to the redemption of the world God has destined for us. In time, God will redeem us to a place like it was in the beginning in the garden, when man will be perfectly united soul and body with his Creator. 

God in his great mercy, has imprinted on our hearts the truth which leads to Him and a pathway to holiness in which our purpose can be fulfilled.  This is the reality of which we have come, and the destiny for which we endure.   We must embrace this truth in our own families; turning from selfishness, and allowing ourselves to submit to our spouse in love and modeling of Christ and the Church. In this relationship, our “charity….rules over all the means of attaining holiness and gives life to these same means. It is charity which guides us to our final end. It is the love of God and the love of one's neighbor which points out the true disciple of Christ” (Lumen Gentium 42). Our families can act as the seed from which societal change can grow and flourish and mankind can begin to be redeemed into the creation from which we were designed. It is charity toward others which demonstrates discipleship of Christ, and this form of discipleship is the embodiment of the image of God in which our immaterial soul and physical body are perfectly displaying God’s goodness to the world.   In looking around, we may see this as a near hopeless endeavor.  How can the changing of my own views and interactions within my family make any difference in the culture at large?  In reflecting on that question, I recall a statement from Cloud Atlas in which the 19th century abolitionist says, “[my] life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?” (Mitchell, 528)  It is with this attitude that we can assuredly make changes in our lives knowing that every turn toward the good results in one more drop in the ocean of holiness we are called to.  

Healy, Mary. (2005). Men and women are from Eden: A study guide to John Paul II’s

theology of the body. Cincinnati: St. Anthony Messenger Press.

The Holy Bible, (2006) Revised Standard Version Bible- Second Catholic Edition, Ignatius Press, San Francisco.

Mitchell, David. (2004) Cloud Atlas. London: Sceptre.

Second Vatican Council. (1965). Pastoral constitution on the Church in the modern world. Gaudium et spes. <http://www.vatican.va>.

Second Vatican Council. (1964). Dogmatic constitution on the Church. Lumen gentium.

Retrieved from  http://www.vatican.va

Torrell, Jean-Pierre. (2003). Saint Thomas Aquinas, Volume 2: Spiritual master. Trans. Robert Royal. Washington, DC: The Catholic University of America Press.

Return to the Garden- How Every Choice Matters

Return to the Garden- How Every Choice Matters

Our modern world is plagued with a moral crisis that is unraveling our societal stability little by little, day by day.  This problem is not unique to the modern world, it is a problem which mankind has been dealing with since Adam and Eve fell from grace in the garden.  The fundamental changing of our relationship with God and creation set about a turn of events that we struggle with to this day. In the garden, Adam and Eve turned inward on themselves, embracing a selfishness and pride that caused a rift not just between themselves and God, but within themselves.  In analyzing our moral state, it becomes clear that a disconnect within ourselves is at the root of our culture of death and the means of repairing this culture is by understanding our corporeal and immaterial make up and embracing a path of return toward the good in which we were created. 

“Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis, 1:26 RSV).  From the moment of creation man was imprinted with an image of the Triune God.  Unlike the rest of creation, mankind was neither purely corporeal, nor purely immaterial.   Instead mankind was made to inhabit this physical world in a unique way; carrying the image of God.  This corporeal and spiritual joining is a unique part of creation found only in man.  It is what makes us who we are, and unfortunately a rupture in the balance of our relationship between rational will and our physical emotions is what has led to both our fracture with God and with each other.   This fracture is the fruit of a prideful view of self.  As Adam and Eve chose their own knowledge and feelings over God’s command, so to lies the base for all our sins.   

Through the fall, the relationship between man and women was changed forever.  This fracture ripples through all human relationships since that time. “An adversarial stance develops between the two, which frequently plays out as domination on the part of the man and manipulation on the part of the woman.  Man and woman cannot be human without each other, yet each is tempted to selfishly strive for self promotion and self protection to the detriment of the other” (Healy, 36).  When man and woman acknowledge their selfish weakness and strive to move toward charity toward each other; placing each others needs above their own, a move toward holiness occurs. Each small move in this direction moves mankind into the direction of redemption God desires for us. 

God has revealed the truths in a Trinitarian way to us.  He has written them on our hearts.  He has revealed them through the Word, and it is demonstrated through the love that flows in charity when one follows the Word and God’s moral truth that is written on our hearts.    The Theology of the Body returns us to a right ordering of things.  It allows us to look outward at our spouse instead of inward on ourselves.    When this perspective switches it becomes a catalyst for change in the very fabric of society; the family.   As the family changes, so too does the culture. It is important for the world to be equipped with a real understanding of what it means to love sacrificially and to give oneself for another.  In embracing this truth we can rescue the culture from its descent into despair, death and selfish ambition.  

Today, we see tragedy around us.  A disregard for human life, for the poor, the vulnerable, and the marginalized.  We see a loathing of the goodness of God and a mockery of religion.  At the same time we see a hunger for more, a culture that is searching for the good, but is looking in the wrong places.  Too often our culture is looking for its fulfillment in the individual.  This gravitates toward an over embellishment of the physical.  We seek pleasure and comfort but our desires continue unappeased.   The divorce between our spiritual lives and our corporeal lives leaves a gaping hole that can only be filled once we allow both to flourish in harmony together.  Dismissal of the spiritual as unnecessary is the ultimate root of our suffering. We are not meant to be purely physical creatures, nor purely rational creatures. “In this perspective, ‘man is neither his body nor his soul,’ but the composite that results from the union of soul and body. And ‘since it is a matter of an animated body, we must not speak either of priority or posteriority; there is absolute simultaneity, since indeed the animated body coincides with the incarnate spirit.’The soul is doubtless the more noble part, by virtue of its spiritual nature created by God. But it is not a complete substance existing by itself” (Torell, 256).  Indeed, it is a right order to the disconnect in our culture between body and soul that can bring about lasting and flourishing change in the human condition. Through an acknowledgment of this disconnect, and further discovery of a pathway to the good in a pursuit of holiness, man can find his way to the redemption of the world God has destined for us. In time, God will redeem us to a place like it was in the beginning in the garden, when man will be perfectly united soul and body with his Creator. 

God in his great mercy, has imprinted on our hearts the truth which leads to Him and a pathway to holiness in which our purpose can be fulfilled.  This is the reality of which we have come, and the destiny for which we endure.   We must embrace this truth in our own families; turning from selfishness, and allowing ourselves to submit to our spouse in love and modeling of Christ and the Church. In this relationship, our “charity….rules over all the means of attaining holiness and gives life to these same means. It is charity which guides us to our final end. It is the love of God and the love of one's neighbor which points out the true disciple of Christ” (Lumen Gentium 42). Our families can act as the seed from which societal change can grow and flourish and mankind can begin to be redeemed into the creation from which we were designed. It is charity toward others which demonstrates discipleship of Christ, and this form of discipleship is the embodiment of the image of God in which our immaterial soul and physical body are perfectly displaying God’s goodness to the world.   In looking around, we may see this as a near hopeless endeavor.  How can the changing of my own views and interactions within my family make any difference in the culture at large?  In reflecting on that question, I recall a statement from Cloud Atlas in which the 19th century abolitionist says, “[my] life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?” (Mitchell, 528)  It is with this attitude that we can assuredly make changes in our lives knowing that every turn toward the good results in one more drop in the ocean of holiness we are called to.  

Healy, Mary. (2005). Men and women are from Eden: A study guide to John Paul II’s

theology of the body. Cincinnati: St. Anthony Messenger Press.

The Holy Bible, (2006) Revised Standard Version Bible- Second Catholic Edition, Ignatius Press, San Francisco.

Mitchell, David. (2004) Cloud Atlas. London: Sceptre.

Second Vatican Council. (1965). Pastoral constitution on the Church in the modern world. Gaudium et spes. <http://www.vatican.va>.

Second Vatican Council. (1964). Dogmatic constitution on the Church. Lumen gentium.

Retrieved from  http://www.vatican.va

Torrell, Jean-Pierre. (2003). Saint Thomas Aquinas, Volume 2: Spiritual master. Trans. Robert Royal. Washington, DC: The Catholic University of America Press.

Los Angeles Religious Education Congress Day 1 Reflections

Today I had the opportunity to go to the annual Los Angeles Religious Education Congress at the Anaheim Convention Center.   I wasn't the only one! It was very crowded and full of people seeking out ways of growing their faith and the faith of those around them.

The first lecture I went to was by Rabbi Michael Lokter speaking on the topic "What every serious Christian should know about Judaism".  I found his lecture very interesting and informative and was able to purchase his book A Christian's Guide to Judaism.  If the book is half as good as his lecture it will be an excellent read.   I think so often that we as Christians take for granted Jewish beliefs.  We read the Old Testament and get some basic instruction on what "Jewish Practice" was like before Christ and we scratch our heads wondering why the Jews missed Jesus as the Messiah.

Rabbi Lokter did a great job explaining to us why that is and it seems to ultimately come down to two ideas.  First, who God is and Second who the Messiah is.  Apparently both of these questions are not satisfactorily or even coherently answered by Christianity in the Jewish mind. I also learned that while Christianity is interested primarily with the afterlife,  Judaism is interested primarily with what we have here on earth now and what we are to do to better the world around us for God.   The afterlife in Judaism is not focused on much.    Differences like this, once understood, can really lead to some fruitful discussions between our faith traditions, and is far better than understanding a mere caricature of each other.

The second lecture I attended was by Fr. Joe Kempf speaking on the topic "What do you See in the Mirror".   I was able to first hear Fr. Joe speak last year about the Sacrament of Reconciliation and I was very impressed with his pastoral nature and this lecture today did not disappoint either.   Fr. Joe has a "pal" named Big Al that is a puppet he uses to teach children and make children's videos with.  Apparently he has been doing this for some time as everyone seems to know all about it.   Since I was a convert just last year to Catholicism I had no idea who this "Big Al" was and it was pretty comical to see all the middle aged folks get so excited to see Big Al and take pictures of him! The little I saw of Big Al and Fr Joe though makes it clear why people love him so much, he touches on heart issues and real world struggles and helps people figure out how to get through the hard times of life and how much God loves us.   I picked up a book and DVD and am hoping to introduce my own kids to Big Al now!

My third workshop was a sobering one related to the atrocities of human trafficking.  Theresa Flores spoke about her own experience being trafficked as a teenager and has written a book of her story titled "The Slave Across the Street".  Theresa gave a lot of statistics and examples, but the biggest thing I think to take away was that Trafficking can happen to anyone anywhere and recognizing when someone may need help (even if they don't ask or admit it) is key to helping people gain freedom from their traffickers.

The day closed out with a choice of masses and I attended the "Black Culture Liturgy".  It was a beautiful mass and the priest gave a wonderful homily about loving others even when they don't love us back or when it is difficult.   I was lucky enough to sit next to a group of religious brothers from Hawaii and they were super friendly and we had a good time.   I think if they had an extra habit and ticket to Hawaii, they may have offered it to me......maybe I would have accepted!

As happened last year,  I now have a huge pile of books from the exposition floor to get through over the next few months!

I am very excited for tomorrow and the insights and faith formation to be gained by the lectures and liturgies tomorrow.  Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church will be giving the keynote and so I am very excited to hear from someone of my former tradition as an Evangelical speak to this huge Catholic audience.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession)

When we talk about the confessional, it seems that people immediately get scared and nervous.  The idea of telling someone the skeletons in your closet is terrifying to most people.    Why is this?  Ultimately it comes down to shame and judgement.  Shame for what we have done, and the associated embarrassment, and the fear of judgement from others.....the strange looks, the second thoughts, perhaps the severing of a relationship.  

Thankfully, God does not respond to our sin, the way people around us might.   He loves us and pours out his grace upon us.   He suffered for us on the cross and he bore the weight of all of our shortcomings.   Sharing our shortcomings with God is something he wants from us, he wants to help us and he wants to bring us through the darkness into the light. 

So why is the confessional so scary?  It shouldn't be.  It is a place where we can meet God and hear the words of forgiveness said to us.  That someone representing God and the Church is there and hears what we have done and tells us that we are forgiven no matter what.  The sin is gone, it is erased.   Someone is there to anonymously hear what we need to get out, what is bottled up, what is burdening us, and that same person to tell us it is ok to let the burden of sin go, to let Christ take it for us. 

As a protestant, I was no stranger to asking God for forgiveness.  I did it plenty in prayer, but there was something lacking, something I could not ever put my finger on, but present none the less.  It was  a burden that I continued to carry.  My sins, though asked for forgiveness for, still bore weight on me.  I knew God forgave me, but I could not fully release the burden that the sin had placed on me.  Small sins, bigger sins, no matter, there was a burden.   

I appreciated the idea of the Confessional, there was something that seemed right about it.  I was still nervous going in, but it was the most amazing experience I have ever had.   I went into the confessional, burdened and came out freed.   Hearing the words of absolution brought tears to my eyes,  I experienced first hand the Divine Mercy of Christ.  It was so real you could feel it.  I felt like I walked a few feet taller after that.   

In my journey to the Catholic Faith, I did a lot of study, read a lot of information, talked to a lot of people.  I was convinced of the Catholic Faith, intellectually.   Everything I learned, all the apologetics, all the arguments, were mere dust compared to how real the experience of the Sacrament of Reconciliation was.  God's mercy was felt,  His grace received, and it was clear that God works and acts through his church.  

There is something very therapeutic for the soul about going to confession.   It forces you to search yourself, acknowledge your sin, and strive to change.   It is far too easy for us to condone bad behavior in ourselves, or justify wrongdoing.   It is far to easy to bottle things up and not really deal with them.  Confession counters those problems in a real way.   

Confession reconciles us with God, by coming to him with our sin and asking forgiveness.  God works through the priest in this by assuring us of our forgiveness in the provision of absolution and by using the priest to offer us ways to reconcile the damage done by our sins in penance.  Ways to help us heal our soul from the damage that has been done to it by our sin.  

Confession also reconciles us to the Church.  It returns us from a wayward sheep back into the flock.   This was seen from the earliest times when they used to have public confessions before the whole church!  While a motivator to keep the narrow path, I imagine people began to hide their sins a bit to avoid the public confession and the private confessional developed to meet such  a pastoral need. 


For those that are uncertain of the basis of confession in the Bible,  I can post a couple verses here.

John 20:21-23

 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

This shows that Jesus commissioned the Apostles to go out and hear sins and forgive them if the people were sorry, or not forgive them if they weren't . This authority was handed on as the Apostles handed on their office through the ages to the Bishops of today.

James 5:13-16

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

I really love this verse 16.  In my previous evangelical upbringing the idea of confessing sins to another person would have been very outlandish.   There was no reason for it and no one ever did it.   Certainly not to the pastors or elders outside of perhaps some sort of counseling type of situation.  I like how this section of verses describes calling the elders to you and asking them to pray for you.  That their prayer is powerful and effective and that you should confess your sins to these elders.   This is what is done in the Confessional (this section also describes "Last Rites"). 

I have been wanting to do a post on Confession for a while due to my really amazing experience with it, but I hadn't formulated enough ideas for it, or taken the time to right it all down.   Our Parish priest spoke to the RCIA class this last week on this topic and it sort of rekindled the flame.  

  Sometimes we are so critical with ourselves that we convince ourselves that God can't or won't forgive us.  This is nothing but Satan lying to us.  The God who brought forth the Universe from nothing, can most certainly forgive any pitiful sin we commit.   

I also want to point out that the Confessional is a great tool for our own sanctification, something we can all say that we strive for.  We should always want to grow in Christian holiness.  Going to the confessional regularly is a great way to do that.  It is a way for us to really examine ourselves and report our faults.  A time to grow in prayer and receiving God's Grace.   The popes have gone to confessional quite frequently.....every week or two. They do this as both an example to us, and to form their consciences and humble themselves before God.   It is important for them, and it is important for us for the same reasons. 

So what are you waiting for?  

Go and lay down your burdens today!

The Catholic Church- On Icons

We recently had a visit to our parish of a Icon of Our Lady of Czestochowa.   The icon originates in Poland, and has been traveling around the world on a pilgrimage for the sanctity of human life.  It is a very beautiful image of the Blessed Mother holding a child Jesus.  There is a lot of information on the icon that one can read at this link : Our Lady of Czestochowa Information

Seeing the icon in person was a great experience.  It is a part of Christian history dating back at least 700 years, with tradition saying that the Gospel writer Luke painted it.    It is an icon, that I probably would never see in my life, except that it came to my very own parish.  So even just from an interesting museum type historical standpoint, it was a nice thing to see, but icons are much more than that and often times a stumbling block for people interested in the Catholic Faith.

So what is an icon exactly?  Icons are images of Christian Figures that are in some ways like a window to heaven.   They are a physical display of a diving reality as best as we can have that.   Icons help us, as physical creatures, imagine something about the Divine.  In this case about Mary and Jesus, their relationship with each other, and with us.   It helps us see God becoming man, and what that means for us.  

Often it is viewed by people that are unfamiliar with icons and the rich tradition of them throughout Christian History as a form of idolatry.  This cannot be further from the truth however.  No one is worshiping the icon, instead they worship God with the aid of the icon.   We would never say it is idolatry to pray before an open Bible, or to sing praises with images of Christ on a Power Point Screen flashing by.  But for some reason it becomes idolatry in the minds of some, when the image is a permanent picture or statue.   All of these forms of art, whether they be a statue or a powerpoint video, serve the same purpose of helping us focus on God.

As a convert,  this was something I had to come to understand.  The last thing anyone wants to do is become an idolater.   It takes serious reflection and understanding to fully understand what one should do in relation to icons.   In fact, many lifelong Catholics may need a refresher on practices related to icons, to ensure they are not erroneously falling into idolatry.  

I couldn't help but imagine what I as a then Protestant would have done if the ark of the covenant had been discovered, or the true cross.   Imagine as a protestant someone without any doubt whatsoever, bringing the actual cross of Christ into your church to display.   Would you not, display it reverently up in front?  Would you not perhaps decorate around it with lights and flowers?  Would you not encourage people to come and sit or kneel at the foot of the cross?  Would you not encourage people to gently touch the areas where Christ's feet were pierced?  

I think everyone would see no problem in any of that.  Knowing that all worship and thanks and honor is going to Christ and not the actual cross.  It brings us closer to his suffering, closer to experiencing him in a very real and tangible way.

The same is true with icons, and a proper veneration of the icon in an act of humble worship to God.

Why am I becoming Catholic- A personal journey

Why am I becoming Catholic?

To many it may seem odd that I am becoming Catholic.  They might say, "Who becomes Catholic? I thought people leave the Catholic Church?"  I thought that myself at one point.   I was literally the only person I knew who was becoming Catholic, at least prior to starting the process.   I know plenty of people born in the Catholic Church, practicing and non practicing.  But the vast majority of the people I know are Evangelical Protestant types. My own Family being almost entirely Baptist/Evangelical, the Catholic Church was very foreign to me.

There was no chance of me ever becoming Catholic, other than by God's guiding hand.


During my marriage, it became evident to me that the Bible could be interpreted by anyone in just about anyway.  I won't get into all the specifics, but conflict in my marriage could not be settled by "the Bible Alone"  both my wife and I turned to an outside Authority to "interpret" the Bible.   Both of us held our beliefs, and not even "majority rules" seemed to work when it came to interpretation since a very good argument could be made that Jesus said "the gate is narrow and few find it".  If that is true, perhaps the majority opinion was wrong.   My marriage fell apart for a number of reasons, but this was at the core in my opinion.   That said, the issue was shelved while my personal life was sorted out.

During this time, I made an effort to complete my degree at the local community college.  I had to take one class....any class....to complete my residency requirement and graduate.  I got into the only online class I could, Philosophy of Religion.   My goal was to do as little as possible to get through the class to get my degree and be done with it all.  As part of this class I had to go on two field trips, one to an Eastern Religious site and one to a Western Religious site.  Both had to be outside of my own tradition. Naturally, I went to the local Roman Catholic Church for a Sunday mass to satisfy my field trip requirements.

I was taken back by the beauty of the Church, and even though I did not know exactly what was going on, I did my best to follow along and participate.  It was very moving to kneel and seek forgiveness and be humble before God.  I was so used to a tradition that was anything but focused on having a penitent spirit before God as part of the Sunday service.   I would later be reading Thomas Merton's "The Seven Story Mountain" and can relate so much to his first experience in a Catholic Church;

"One came out of the church with a kind of comfortable and satisfied feeling that something had been done that needed to be done.....It is a law of man's nature, written into his very essence, and just as much a part of him as the desire to build houses and cultivate the land and marry and have children and read books and sing songs, that he should want to stand together with other men in order to acknowledge their common dependence on God, their Father and Creator. In fact, this desire is much more fundamental than any purely physical necessity."



To say that the mass was an impact on me is really an understatement. It was moving and spiritual, beautiful and intellectual. It was true and humble worship. Not a show, not a performance, not meant to entertain, not even really meant as a Bible study, but something much more than those things. It was not about me, but God and his relationship with me. I wanted to learn more and began reading, surfing the net, listening to sermons, and watching Father Barron's Youtube videos. I found myself sliding into the back row at a weekday mass to watch it all again. I found myself going to Catholic Mass and my Evangelical Church on Sundays.

I slowly and surely worked on the hurdles that I had with Catholicism. After all, it is all fine and dandy to have a beautiful liturgy, or an emotional experience, but that is not enough or of much value if the church is not teaching God's truth.  The number one issue for me was Authority.  This is where my issue with my marriage had left me and one of the first issues I had looked at.   Who exactly has the authority to interpret what the Bible says?   Even before I ever took that class and went to my first mass, I had deduced that in order to solve my scriptural dispute, I would need to look at the historical church to see what they said over the millenniums regarding the passages in dispute.   Ideally I would find some writings from the early church in the decades after Christ that would corroborate one idea over the other.

Well, I found the early church Fathers, and their writings.   Writers such as Justin Martyr, Clement of Rome, Irenaeus, Augustine, and Ignatius of Antioch, Third Bishop of Antioch who was a disciple of the Apostle John. Ignatius of Antioch had a profound impact on me.  It was he who says regarding the Authority of the Bishop (I had no bishop in my protestant tradition);

"Not that I have found any division among you, but exceeding purity.  For as many as are of God and of Jesus Christ are also with the bishop. And as many as shall, in the exercise of repentance, return into the unity of the Church, these, too, shall belong to God, and they may live according to Jesus Christ. Do not err, my brethren. If any man follows him that makes a schism in the Church, he shall not inherit the kingdom of God.  If any one walks according to a strange opinion, he agrees not with the passion [of Christ]." -Epistle to the Philippians Chapter III 107 AD

"In like manner let all reverence the deacons as an appointment of Jesus Christ, and the bishop as Jesus Christ, who is the Son of the Father, and the presbyters as the sanhedrim of God, and assembly of the Apostles." -Epistle to the Trallians Chapter III 107AD

"See that ye all follow the bishop, even as Jesus Christ does the Father, and the presbytery as ye would the apostles; and reverence the deacons, as being the institution of God. Let no man do anything connected with the Church without the bishop. Let that be deemed a proper Eucharist, which is [administered] either by the bishop, or by one to whom he has entrusted it. Wherever the bishop shall appear, there let the multitude [of the people] also be; even as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. It is not lawful without the bishop either to baptize or to celebrate a love-feast; but whatsoever he shall approve of, that is also pleasing to God, so that everything that is done may be secure and valid." -Epistle to the Smyrenaens Chapter VIII 107AD

Such passages hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was so foreign to my understanding of the Church and my upbringing.  But it made absolute sense.  It made absolute sense to me that Christ would leave his church with Authority to implement Matt 18.  That when he said take your disputes finally to the church that he meant you could go to the church for resolution, and if you didn't listen, you could be disciplined.   Such a church is what was lacking in my own personal disputes.  Here is writing from the very early second century confirming such authority and no where do I read anything positive from the church about schismatics or "reformers" acting outside and apart from the bishops.   

The authority domino had been pushed over for me, and when you relinquish authority to Christ and his Church the other dominos tumble just as fast as the first.   I found though, that the Early Church had much to say about my standard Evangelical convert "problem points"; The Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist,  Infant Baptism, Sacramental Confession, Mary and the Saints.   These were my hurdles like many others before me.  Hurdles that more easily came down when trusting the Church's authority, but still needed work.  I found the Early Church Fathers, and the corresponding Scriptures they point to, to overwhelmingly make the case for all of these.   I found them not to be invented traditions, but core tenets found very early and throughout Christian History.   

More and more, I found that I had been following a relatively modern tradition, with week roots to even the Reformation, let alone the early church.  

Still uncertain if I should fully convert to the church, I prayed and asked God for guidance.  I asked that he would clearly show me if I should make the conversion now or stay an evangelical who went to Catholic mass from time to time.   I wanted to get involved in church, whatever church that was.   So I emailed my Evangelical Church to see if they had a way for me to get plugged in.  It was a large church, and I received an email back telling me about a ministry kickoff several months in the future where I could maybe meet some people or find a ministry.  "Ok" I though, but it felt a bit impersonal.  A bit like they were too busy to help me right now.   I never felt unwelcome or anything like that, but just sort of lost in the hustle and bustle of a very large church.  

So, I decided to find the local Catholic Church to visit since I had recently moved and had not attended a church near my new home.   I googled it, and found three nearby, one of them seemed closer than the others so I went there.   I was very happy with the priest's homily and the enthusiasm in participation of the congregation.  They made an announcement at the end to check out their ministry expo in the fellowship hall afterwards.   I eagerly went and found a table to inquire about small groups.  After telling a fraction of my story, I was hugged and welcomed and taken and introduced to the RCIA director and his wife, both converts as well (There really are other converts I thought!) 

Needless to say, I asked God for a sign of which Church I should attend and he could not have made it clearer.   I found out later this ministry expo is one weekend per year, and I just happened to attend my first mass there that Sunday.   I was enrolled in RCIA and began Inquiry followed by the Rite of Welcome and the full RCIA class.  

It has now been over a year and half since that ministry expo, and two and a half years since my first mass.  It has been quite a journey filled with God's provision and faithfulness.  A time when my faith has grown, and developed.  My love for Christ has blossomed, and my hope for the future increased.  It is a time where I have learned so much of what God has for our lives, and how much I was missing before.  A time filled with his grace and peace, and surrounded by a community that really truly cares for one another.   A time to meet priests who have devoted their lives to God and shepherding his flock, a time to have my first Reconciliation, and experience really and truly God's forgiveness, and now a time to enter into Holy Week and be received into Full Communion with the Catholic Church.   I know my road is just starting, but I cannot wait to see where it goes.  

I was given this quote at my RCIA retreat beneath a picture of myself with my 8 fellow RCIA elect/candidates.   It now sits framed in my dining room and it is how I desire to look at my Christian journey;

“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.

He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work.

I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place,
while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.

Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.”  -Blessed John Henry Newman

-Jon