The Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession)

When we talk about the confessional, it seems that people immediately get scared and nervous.  The idea of telling someone the skeletons in your closet is terrifying to most people.    Why is this?  Ultimately it comes down to shame and judgement.  Shame for what we have done, and the associated embarrassment, and the fear of judgement from others.....the strange looks, the second thoughts, perhaps the severing of a relationship.  

Thankfully, God does not respond to our sin, the way people around us might.   He loves us and pours out his grace upon us.   He suffered for us on the cross and he bore the weight of all of our shortcomings.   Sharing our shortcomings with God is something he wants from us, he wants to help us and he wants to bring us through the darkness into the light. 

So why is the confessional so scary?  It shouldn't be.  It is a place where we can meet God and hear the words of forgiveness said to us.  That someone representing God and the Church is there and hears what we have done and tells us that we are forgiven no matter what.  The sin is gone, it is erased.   Someone is there to anonymously hear what we need to get out, what is bottled up, what is burdening us, and that same person to tell us it is ok to let the burden of sin go, to let Christ take it for us. 

As a protestant, I was no stranger to asking God for forgiveness.  I did it plenty in prayer, but there was something lacking, something I could not ever put my finger on, but present none the less.  It was  a burden that I continued to carry.  My sins, though asked for forgiveness for, still bore weight on me.  I knew God forgave me, but I could not fully release the burden that the sin had placed on me.  Small sins, bigger sins, no matter, there was a burden.   

I appreciated the idea of the Confessional, there was something that seemed right about it.  I was still nervous going in, but it was the most amazing experience I have ever had.   I went into the confessional, burdened and came out freed.   Hearing the words of absolution brought tears to my eyes,  I experienced first hand the Divine Mercy of Christ.  It was so real you could feel it.  I felt like I walked a few feet taller after that.   

In my journey to the Catholic Faith, I did a lot of study, read a lot of information, talked to a lot of people.  I was convinced of the Catholic Faith, intellectually.   Everything I learned, all the apologetics, all the arguments, were mere dust compared to how real the experience of the Sacrament of Reconciliation was.  God's mercy was felt,  His grace received, and it was clear that God works and acts through his church.  

There is something very therapeutic for the soul about going to confession.   It forces you to search yourself, acknowledge your sin, and strive to change.   It is far too easy for us to condone bad behavior in ourselves, or justify wrongdoing.   It is far to easy to bottle things up and not really deal with them.  Confession counters those problems in a real way.   

Confession reconciles us with God, by coming to him with our sin and asking forgiveness.  God works through the priest in this by assuring us of our forgiveness in the provision of absolution and by using the priest to offer us ways to reconcile the damage done by our sins in penance.  Ways to help us heal our soul from the damage that has been done to it by our sin.  

Confession also reconciles us to the Church.  It returns us from a wayward sheep back into the flock.   This was seen from the earliest times when they used to have public confessions before the whole church!  While a motivator to keep the narrow path, I imagine people began to hide their sins a bit to avoid the public confession and the private confessional developed to meet such  a pastoral need. 


For those that are uncertain of the basis of confession in the Bible,  I can post a couple verses here.

John 20:21-23

 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

This shows that Jesus commissioned the Apostles to go out and hear sins and forgive them if the people were sorry, or not forgive them if they weren't . This authority was handed on as the Apostles handed on their office through the ages to the Bishops of today.

James 5:13-16

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

I really love this verse 16.  In my previous evangelical upbringing the idea of confessing sins to another person would have been very outlandish.   There was no reason for it and no one ever did it.   Certainly not to the pastors or elders outside of perhaps some sort of counseling type of situation.  I like how this section of verses describes calling the elders to you and asking them to pray for you.  That their prayer is powerful and effective and that you should confess your sins to these elders.   This is what is done in the Confessional (this section also describes "Last Rites"). 

I have been wanting to do a post on Confession for a while due to my really amazing experience with it, but I hadn't formulated enough ideas for it, or taken the time to right it all down.   Our Parish priest spoke to the RCIA class this last week on this topic and it sort of rekindled the flame.  

  Sometimes we are so critical with ourselves that we convince ourselves that God can't or won't forgive us.  This is nothing but Satan lying to us.  The God who brought forth the Universe from nothing, can most certainly forgive any pitiful sin we commit.   

I also want to point out that the Confessional is a great tool for our own sanctification, something we can all say that we strive for.  We should always want to grow in Christian holiness.  Going to the confessional regularly is a great way to do that.  It is a way for us to really examine ourselves and report our faults.  A time to grow in prayer and receiving God's Grace.   The popes have gone to confessional quite frequently.....every week or two. They do this as both an example to us, and to form their consciences and humble themselves before God.   It is important for them, and it is important for us for the same reasons. 

So what are you waiting for?  

Go and lay down your burdens today!

The Catholic Church- On Icons

We recently had a visit to our parish of a Icon of Our Lady of Czestochowa.   The icon originates in Poland, and has been traveling around the world on a pilgrimage for the sanctity of human life.  It is a very beautiful image of the Blessed Mother holding a child Jesus.  There is a lot of information on the icon that one can read at this link : Our Lady of Czestochowa Information

Seeing the icon in person was a great experience.  It is a part of Christian history dating back at least 700 years, with tradition saying that the Gospel writer Luke painted it.    It is an icon, that I probably would never see in my life, except that it came to my very own parish.  So even just from an interesting museum type historical standpoint, it was a nice thing to see, but icons are much more than that and often times a stumbling block for people interested in the Catholic Faith.

So what is an icon exactly?  Icons are images of Christian Figures that are in some ways like a window to heaven.   They are a physical display of a diving reality as best as we can have that.   Icons help us, as physical creatures, imagine something about the Divine.  In this case about Mary and Jesus, their relationship with each other, and with us.   It helps us see God becoming man, and what that means for us.  

Often it is viewed by people that are unfamiliar with icons and the rich tradition of them throughout Christian History as a form of idolatry.  This cannot be further from the truth however.  No one is worshiping the icon, instead they worship God with the aid of the icon.   We would never say it is idolatry to pray before an open Bible, or to sing praises with images of Christ on a Power Point Screen flashing by.  But for some reason it becomes idolatry in the minds of some, when the image is a permanent picture or statue.   All of these forms of art, whether they be a statue or a powerpoint video, serve the same purpose of helping us focus on God.

As a convert,  this was something I had to come to understand.  The last thing anyone wants to do is become an idolater.   It takes serious reflection and understanding to fully understand what one should do in relation to icons.   In fact, many lifelong Catholics may need a refresher on practices related to icons, to ensure they are not erroneously falling into idolatry.  

I couldn't help but imagine what I as a then Protestant would have done if the ark of the covenant had been discovered, or the true cross.   Imagine as a protestant someone without any doubt whatsoever, bringing the actual cross of Christ into your church to display.   Would you not, display it reverently up in front?  Would you not perhaps decorate around it with lights and flowers?  Would you not encourage people to come and sit or kneel at the foot of the cross?  Would you not encourage people to gently touch the areas where Christ's feet were pierced?  

I think everyone would see no problem in any of that.  Knowing that all worship and thanks and honor is going to Christ and not the actual cross.  It brings us closer to his suffering, closer to experiencing him in a very real and tangible way.

The same is true with icons, and a proper veneration of the icon in an act of humble worship to God.

Why am I becoming Catholic- A personal journey

Why am I becoming Catholic?

To many it may seem odd that I am becoming Catholic.  They might say, "Who becomes Catholic? I thought people leave the Catholic Church?"  I thought that myself at one point.   I was literally the only person I knew who was becoming Catholic, at least prior to starting the process.   I know plenty of people born in the Catholic Church, practicing and non practicing.  But the vast majority of the people I know are Evangelical Protestant types. My own Family being almost entirely Baptist/Evangelical, the Catholic Church was very foreign to me.

There was no chance of me ever becoming Catholic, other than by God's guiding hand.


During my marriage, it became evident to me that the Bible could be interpreted by anyone in just about anyway.  I won't get into all the specifics, but conflict in my marriage could not be settled by "the Bible Alone"  both my wife and I turned to an outside Authority to "interpret" the Bible.   Both of us held our beliefs, and not even "majority rules" seemed to work when it came to interpretation since a very good argument could be made that Jesus said "the gate is narrow and few find it".  If that is true, perhaps the majority opinion was wrong.   My marriage fell apart for a number of reasons, but this was at the core in my opinion.   That said, the issue was shelved while my personal life was sorted out.

During this time, I made an effort to complete my degree at the local community college.  I had to take one class....any class....to complete my residency requirement and graduate.  I got into the only online class I could, Philosophy of Religion.   My goal was to do as little as possible to get through the class to get my degree and be done with it all.  As part of this class I had to go on two field trips, one to an Eastern Religious site and one to a Western Religious site.  Both had to be outside of my own tradition. Naturally, I went to the local Roman Catholic Church for a Sunday mass to satisfy my field trip requirements.

I was taken back by the beauty of the Church, and even though I did not know exactly what was going on, I did my best to follow along and participate.  It was very moving to kneel and seek forgiveness and be humble before God.  I was so used to a tradition that was anything but focused on having a penitent spirit before God as part of the Sunday service.   I would later be reading Thomas Merton's "The Seven Story Mountain" and can relate so much to his first experience in a Catholic Church;

"One came out of the church with a kind of comfortable and satisfied feeling that something had been done that needed to be done.....It is a law of man's nature, written into his very essence, and just as much a part of him as the desire to build houses and cultivate the land and marry and have children and read books and sing songs, that he should want to stand together with other men in order to acknowledge their common dependence on God, their Father and Creator. In fact, this desire is much more fundamental than any purely physical necessity."



To say that the mass was an impact on me is really an understatement. It was moving and spiritual, beautiful and intellectual. It was true and humble worship. Not a show, not a performance, not meant to entertain, not even really meant as a Bible study, but something much more than those things. It was not about me, but God and his relationship with me. I wanted to learn more and began reading, surfing the net, listening to sermons, and watching Father Barron's Youtube videos. I found myself sliding into the back row at a weekday mass to watch it all again. I found myself going to Catholic Mass and my Evangelical Church on Sundays.

I slowly and surely worked on the hurdles that I had with Catholicism. After all, it is all fine and dandy to have a beautiful liturgy, or an emotional experience, but that is not enough or of much value if the church is not teaching God's truth.  The number one issue for me was Authority.  This is where my issue with my marriage had left me and one of the first issues I had looked at.   Who exactly has the authority to interpret what the Bible says?   Even before I ever took that class and went to my first mass, I had deduced that in order to solve my scriptural dispute, I would need to look at the historical church to see what they said over the millenniums regarding the passages in dispute.   Ideally I would find some writings from the early church in the decades after Christ that would corroborate one idea over the other.

Well, I found the early church Fathers, and their writings.   Writers such as Justin Martyr, Clement of Rome, Irenaeus, Augustine, and Ignatius of Antioch, Third Bishop of Antioch who was a disciple of the Apostle John. Ignatius of Antioch had a profound impact on me.  It was he who says regarding the Authority of the Bishop (I had no bishop in my protestant tradition);

"Not that I have found any division among you, but exceeding purity.  For as many as are of God and of Jesus Christ are also with the bishop. And as many as shall, in the exercise of repentance, return into the unity of the Church, these, too, shall belong to God, and they may live according to Jesus Christ. Do not err, my brethren. If any man follows him that makes a schism in the Church, he shall not inherit the kingdom of God.  If any one walks according to a strange opinion, he agrees not with the passion [of Christ]." -Epistle to the Philippians Chapter III 107 AD

"In like manner let all reverence the deacons as an appointment of Jesus Christ, and the bishop as Jesus Christ, who is the Son of the Father, and the presbyters as the sanhedrim of God, and assembly of the Apostles." -Epistle to the Trallians Chapter III 107AD

"See that ye all follow the bishop, even as Jesus Christ does the Father, and the presbytery as ye would the apostles; and reverence the deacons, as being the institution of God. Let no man do anything connected with the Church without the bishop. Let that be deemed a proper Eucharist, which is [administered] either by the bishop, or by one to whom he has entrusted it. Wherever the bishop shall appear, there let the multitude [of the people] also be; even as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. It is not lawful without the bishop either to baptize or to celebrate a love-feast; but whatsoever he shall approve of, that is also pleasing to God, so that everything that is done may be secure and valid." -Epistle to the Smyrenaens Chapter VIII 107AD

Such passages hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was so foreign to my understanding of the Church and my upbringing.  But it made absolute sense.  It made absolute sense to me that Christ would leave his church with Authority to implement Matt 18.  That when he said take your disputes finally to the church that he meant you could go to the church for resolution, and if you didn't listen, you could be disciplined.   Such a church is what was lacking in my own personal disputes.  Here is writing from the very early second century confirming such authority and no where do I read anything positive from the church about schismatics or "reformers" acting outside and apart from the bishops.   

The authority domino had been pushed over for me, and when you relinquish authority to Christ and his Church the other dominos tumble just as fast as the first.   I found though, that the Early Church had much to say about my standard Evangelical convert "problem points"; The Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist,  Infant Baptism, Sacramental Confession, Mary and the Saints.   These were my hurdles like many others before me.  Hurdles that more easily came down when trusting the Church's authority, but still needed work.  I found the Early Church Fathers, and the corresponding Scriptures they point to, to overwhelmingly make the case for all of these.   I found them not to be invented traditions, but core tenets found very early and throughout Christian History.   

More and more, I found that I had been following a relatively modern tradition, with week roots to even the Reformation, let alone the early church.  

Still uncertain if I should fully convert to the church, I prayed and asked God for guidance.  I asked that he would clearly show me if I should make the conversion now or stay an evangelical who went to Catholic mass from time to time.   I wanted to get involved in church, whatever church that was.   So I emailed my Evangelical Church to see if they had a way for me to get plugged in.  It was a large church, and I received an email back telling me about a ministry kickoff several months in the future where I could maybe meet some people or find a ministry.  "Ok" I though, but it felt a bit impersonal.  A bit like they were too busy to help me right now.   I never felt unwelcome or anything like that, but just sort of lost in the hustle and bustle of a very large church.  

So, I decided to find the local Catholic Church to visit since I had recently moved and had not attended a church near my new home.   I googled it, and found three nearby, one of them seemed closer than the others so I went there.   I was very happy with the priest's homily and the enthusiasm in participation of the congregation.  They made an announcement at the end to check out their ministry expo in the fellowship hall afterwards.   I eagerly went and found a table to inquire about small groups.  After telling a fraction of my story, I was hugged and welcomed and taken and introduced to the RCIA director and his wife, both converts as well (There really are other converts I thought!) 

Needless to say, I asked God for a sign of which Church I should attend and he could not have made it clearer.   I found out later this ministry expo is one weekend per year, and I just happened to attend my first mass there that Sunday.   I was enrolled in RCIA and began Inquiry followed by the Rite of Welcome and the full RCIA class.  

It has now been over a year and half since that ministry expo, and two and a half years since my first mass.  It has been quite a journey filled with God's provision and faithfulness.  A time when my faith has grown, and developed.  My love for Christ has blossomed, and my hope for the future increased.  It is a time where I have learned so much of what God has for our lives, and how much I was missing before.  A time filled with his grace and peace, and surrounded by a community that really truly cares for one another.   A time to meet priests who have devoted their lives to God and shepherding his flock, a time to have my first Reconciliation, and experience really and truly God's forgiveness, and now a time to enter into Holy Week and be received into Full Communion with the Catholic Church.   I know my road is just starting, but I cannot wait to see where it goes.  

I was given this quote at my RCIA retreat beneath a picture of myself with my 8 fellow RCIA elect/candidates.   It now sits framed in my dining room and it is how I desire to look at my Christian journey;

“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.

He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work.

I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place,
while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.

Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.”  -Blessed John Henry Newman

-Jon